The Man who sold his love!

Monday, 9th April... Had to bid goodbye to my last love... couldn't even watch her go! He came and he took her... All I could do, was think of her in his arms and wish him for future!!! Its not even a week, and I've already started to feel lonely without her... and I'll specially miss her during the weekend! Her black sexy body, and the steer to drive anyone crazy on a ride... Her music sense... Just about everything that made me go crazy for her... I'll miss it all!
I tried my level best to keep her with me forever! But couldn't... The last time I saw her, I felt as though she was crying out not to let that man take her... She was happy with me too... I believe, even she is missing my warm touch... and may be even the hard, frustrated hits when struck in the traffic!! Everything just seems like yesterday... and still a long time to go!
She was really what her name was... SWIFT! Took care of her as my baby... and couldn't stop the tears dropping, when appa gave the phone to the bastard who bought her and I said with trembling voice... "Hey! Congratulations sir... All the best... nann maguna Chennagi Itkolli" (Congrats, all the best and keep my baby well!). Tears just ran down my cheeks, I was at work... Banged the phone receiver down and ran to the restroom... washed my face... but felt a hurting pinch deep within my heart! My mind unable to shift focus from how much I am gonna be missing her! Well, nothing was in my hands... everything was over... she was SOLD!
I still remember the first day, when I sat on her lap, with my life besides me, trying to steer her safe to my place! My life told me... "Preim, Keep her safe and love her more than me...!!!". I said, "I wil..." and I did... but just like my life, even my black beautiful baby had to leave me alone... and I was left thinking why do I have to give away everything that I love and want to keep with me always... I am just left with the memories to keep with me!
Tomorrow is Saturday... and I am gonna miss her like hell! The full sound-blasting rides in the city, people staring at her with eyes of envy... wishing if she could be theirs! I'll miss it all... I'll miss her.. I'll miss my baby...
And the Mayhem in my mind... Continues...

Flying Dreams;

I believe I can fly...

Nopes! I am not referring to the 1996 R Kelly song! It's a dream I was "made" to dream in the spring of 2005! I put in more efforts, to prove a point, to prove that I deserved. But none of that was considered!

It was way back in 2005, that I decided, I was too bugged with work! Well, that wasn't a difficult decision I know! I decided to quit (as though it was a bad habit ruining my life!)... Go to a higher knowledge space... I decided (again!!!) that I must speak to the competitive authority about it and I did. He appreciated my will to push forward, but least did I know then that my eyes will be blinded from the truth; that I will be tied up with a hope to fly sky high... with a dream to fly to the United States!!!

But, it wasn't long before then that I confronted the truth. It was as hard as a rock to digest! I wasn't to fly! But it was too late for me to face the truth and I wasn't prepared at all! Tumultuous agony... MAYHEM days were staring at me! Had nothing to look back... Nothing! I didn't have any choice left but to face the days like a brave warrior. The support I sought earlier was no more there. Life, as I used to call her then, had quit me and moved on; and I missed her in those days, when I sought her support the most! The days were getting harder to get through, and the nights even difficult to sleep through. I did not dare to dream again! I felt like a weak old blind man without his walking stick!

Days passed by and time kept ticking, as it never does stop for anyone. I did not have a clue, if it would end! Resolutions, kept losing my sight, far beyond my reach! The only thing that I could see was a hope, hung by itself - not in my reach but within my sight, to which I had to hang on to. But for how long - Unanswered! No one seemed to know! If I cut lose my grip on the hope, I feared of falling from a cliff so high! I was trying to hold on... but kept losing the strength!

"The sun shall shine, the clouds shall bring rains, the grasses shall remain green and thou, my Lord, shall always be worshiped"! Sounds like brave optimistic words. But I don't know for how long these words would mean the same to me! Shall be seen...

getting to blog;

Finally! the day has arrived... like many others, I start to believe in sharing my thoughts through things I considered worthless, waste of time and business of the jobless asses! BLOGS!

Well, my apologies... and now on.. you are invited to my world of feelings, which i must warn all, is MAYHEM!

Enuf for the introduction round.. Welcome to MAYHEM...